What the fuck happens to them

What happens when you’re PM?

Our existing Prime Minister seems to have aged 100 years while in office, and the one before that 200 years (John Major was always old, sadly Thatcher was born without a face so this is harder to observe). See for yourself:

Happy as Larry, riding a bike in Amsterdam, probably off his tits on legal drugs, and not a grey hair to be seen (even doing his best Zapatero – Spanish PM – impression). Compare this to:

Stern, grey, having probably just clocked on that he and his wife (Betty Boop) paid £3.6 million for a house that cost artist and previous owner Roger Bevan(ite?) £950,000. Oh, and a war.

Now observe Brown back when him and Blair were in discussions about ‘carving up’ the leadership in an Islington restaurant by the name of Granita:

Now look at him:

Grey day. Judging by this Dave Cameron’s chiseled good looks will disappear and he will look more like a pasty, a toff pasty who surrounds himself with Eton-ites.

So what happens in there? Don’t know! Does it happen in the happiest country in the world?

Apparently that is Denmark, so lets do a similar thing with their last two PM’s (not the existing one, as he has only been in office since April last year – too soon):

Handsome, tasty etc, but let us compare with his 2001 image – 8 years after the start of his Prime Ministerial career:

Oh, still really rather delicious.

And the centre-right chap, Anders, who took his place in 2001:

And a 2009 photograph:

Much the same.

I’ve a book idea for Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett: The Spirit Level: Why More Equal Societies Almost Always Produce Hot Looking Men Way Into Their Old Age, Known Otherwise as Silver Foxes.

Until next christmas, goodbye.

Why kick a man when he’s Brown?

That former swappie trotbag Steel got it right this week when he said of Mr. Brown:

So the poor man bumbles along, and if he rings Mrs Janes again, the conversation will probably end with him saying: “I don’t know where to turn,” and her replying: “Mr Brown, please accept my condolences, I can’t imagine what it must be like to be in your position right now. I know this was the job you always wanted but there was also the chance it could turn out this way I suppose. Try and stay strong, Mr Brown, you poor poor thing.”

Brown is one to feel sorry for – our top hacks agree – and don’t for a second think that this will bring in the votes. But, I hasten to add, was this the plan?

The Sun thing was dreadful, and brought more scorn to their front door than Brown’s, but today’s attempt at doing something for the best has backfired.

Mr Brown joined Australia in apologising for the shipment of child migrants headed for the old developing colonies, such as Canada and Australia, who were lied to about their families and used as work fodder. But before Brown could take off his happy hat, the Telegraph reports:

Harold Haig, the secretary of the International Child Migrants Association, said he was appalled that the Australian apology has come before any British apology.

“Gordon Brown should hang his head in shame,” he said.

“He is allowing the country that we were deported to to apologise before the country where we were born. It is an absolute disgrace. He should hang his head in shame.

Oh I wonder why he bothers sometimes, it is just the most extraordinary point of blame. Perhaps a little late it is, but what does Haig believe is the motive? Does Brown love child slavery? Brown should not be hanging his head in shame!

Don’t worry about the leader who you feel dreadfully sorry for, pour scorn on those who are happy to kick a man when he’s down – for whatever reason they feel, however unnecessary.

Brown versus Osborne on the economy (, stupid!)

Andrew Rawnsley, in his Observer article, retold an overheard quip made by a proud George Osborne that he spends only 40% of his time on the economy (rather a lot, my guess would’ve been 10%). Since his other responsibility is general election co-ordinator, his above figure implies most of his time is spent on the latter job (and, as Rawnsley points out, considers it more important). On the flipside, Gordon Brown who is the prime minister, almost definately spends most of his time with numbers. He should’ve stuck with it methinks…

Keep your word Mr. Brown

“Public spending will continue to rise. It’s in our figures. We’ve costed it, and you’re paying more in top rate tax to pay for it.”

Gordon Brown

Bloody right.

But he “can’t bring himself to jettison the neoliberal policies that are alienating Labour voters“.

Brown: Sorting the expenses system

Daniel Hannan thinks Gordon Brown’s proposals of external regulators overseeing the expenses system will make things worse.

In the anti-politician climate that Hannan accuses Brown of exacerbating, the move to ‘Formalising their feebleness, enshrining it in statute, will mean the end of parliamentary sovereignty, both as a legal concept and as a political fact.’

The blog entry takes the whole issue way out of hand, reading more like war cry to the ‘save the pound’ patriot the end of parliamentary sovereignity!! Getting MP’s to publish tax receipts will not end the political freedoms of our representatives, but expenses abuse certainly will. And what is the best way to curtail these abuses, as well as offering a gesture of accountability by the voting public; transparency of course.

No doubt Daniel Hannan MP just wants more of the same, a view that David Cameron hasn’t officially abandoned.

Jordan – Andre / Blears – Brown

I have written before about my relief that Peter and Jordan were splitting up, thereby predicting the Labour Party split as the second most important.

Well today I was hardly surprised to see on the Daily Mail website a story regarding Hazel Blears and the expenses scandal that started “Gordon Brown was facing a cabinet in revolt tonight as Hazel Blears and other senior figures took a defiant stand against moves to shift or demote them in the Prime Minister’s next reshuffle.”

Mr. Brown told the concerned today that Blears’ actions, though within the law, were ‘completely unacceptable’ and that he would not shirk away from suspending more MP’s, adding that he is the only leader to do so over the expenses row.

As for Blears, she launched a public relations offensive today to save her job by reminding the concerned that she repaid more than £13,000 in Capital Gains Tax.

Furthermore, on the far right of the story was a a picture depicting a tragic looking Katie Price with information detailing that she had thrown all of Andre’s clothes out already. Thus being proved right yet again.

Mail 20-05

Gordon Brown’s own “toberlerone affair” solution takes effect

Gordon Brown’s pledge to end parliamentary self-regulation, and admit “a new independent parliamentary standards regulator to be responsible for pay and allowances”, is definitely an appeal to the “toberlerone affair”, even if its not officially acknowledged as such. It exists in the parliamentary collective unconscious.